How To Build Rapport
People need to know you, like you, and trust you before they’ll do business with you. I already wrote why trust is the most important and how to build it here.
After you’ve built trust, the easiest way to have someone know you is by building rapport.
Building rapport is simply finding things in common. But there is a way of building rapport that can feel pretty wooden.
When I was 6 or 7, I remember watching a not-so-popular kid on our soccer team trying to make a connection with the most popular kid. He would say things like, “Wow, Trevor, you like peanut butter sandwiches and I like peanut butter sandwiches, we must be related!” or “Wow, Trevor, you wear [such-and-such] brand and I wear [such-and-such] brand, we must be related!”
I don’t remember if that kid’s approach worked on Trevor, but I can tell you the rest of us watching weren’t interested in getting to know the not-so-popular kid.
I’ll grant that we were 6 or 7 year old boys and we all probably said stupid stuff, but sometimes it seems like salesmen still try to build rapport in the same way.
Whenever you build rapport, you need to do it in a way that establishes a connection without taking away from the uniqueness of the other person.
If someone tells you they moved around a lot during their childhood, they don’t want to hear you say, “I also moved around a lot in my childhood.” By saying that, you just made the conversation about you.
Instead, use qualifiers to make the connection. Something like, “I know this isn’t exactly the same thing, because everyone grows up differently, but I also moved around a lot when I was young. Did you enjoy moving around or did you always wish you could’ve stayed in one place?”
1) Show that you realize that people are different and handle situations differently, 2) build rapport by letting them know something about yourself that they can relate to, and 3) bring it back to them.
What do you think?
Joseph