Self-Consciousness, Self-Esteem, Self-Awareness

When you’re self-conscious, you think you are less than you actually are. When you have self-esteem, you think you are more than you actually are.

But they aren’t opposites. They are quite similar because both spend too much time thinking about you.

I’ve heard people say self-awareness is the solution to both self-consciousness and self-esteem. Self-awareness is thinking accurately about yourself.

But it’s really hard to stay self-aware by thinking about yourself at all. Being self-aware quickly slips into self-consciousness or self-esteem.

Instead of being self-aware one should be others-aware.

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4 NKJV emphasis mine).

Being aware of others is NOT trying to figure out what they think about you. It is NOT trying to impress. It is NOT a masochistic desire to get taken advantage of by others. Those are just clever ways to focus on yourself.

It’s esteeming others. It’s looking out for the interest of others. It’s listening and being genuinely interested in others.

And here’s the paradox, those who first pursue self-awareness tend to have significant blindspots. Those who pursue others-awareness tend to have a much more accurate picture of who they are and what they can and can’t do.

What do you think?
Joseph